пятница, 14 сентября 2012 г.

Pain leads the way

As my first semester at a Finnish university started, I resumed playing the piano. Boy, how excited I am! All those doubts and fears about not being good enough to perform have stepped aside and seem to be watching closely now how I progress. And without exaggeration, there is tonns of work to do.

Interestingly, I am picking up almost exactly from the spot where I left piano studies in 2005. Same level of the program. Same task to solve... They say it right - the life lesson won't end until it's been learned. My time has come. And I say yay! to it.

While there is a lot of sunshine feeling in my soul for the mere fact that I now can play great Yamahas almost any time I wish, my lesson reminded me of itself right away.

My right hand. It used to hurt a lot, leading the pain all the way into the spine, and down to the right foot. There were times when it hurt so badly that I was aware of it constantly. I blamed my playing for it (or rather, my indesire to play). In any case, it took me a while (and many many lessons of Wing Chun kung fu) to realize that my hand it not guilty. It's my fears that create the block that should not be there.... or should it have been? Nothing in this life happens by accident...

So now I return to intensive practicing, and here it comes again. The pain. But. Now there is a new level to the whole situation. My new teacher. From the first lesson he engagingly talked about many exercises for working out the hand muscles that allow to increase the technique. This week he showed me the first exercise. That triggered my memories, and I combined this new exercise with some that I remember from piano lessons from another teacher from my childhood. And - bam! - Wing Chun comes in with tracking the feeling in the hand. Or rather, hands. Just as my SiFu Igor Tunik always tells me - know where you are, who you are and for what, and things will work out. So here I am, a pianist with a hand that literally tells me what to do, in a university, on my way to a degree in piano performance and... already practicing on the stage.

For what? I feel there is no words strong enough to describe it. Wing Chun has become the vitality part of the passion of my piano connection. Thank you so much, my dear SiFu! And thanks a lot to those who made and make my road harder... it is hard to overcome tougher challenges but the results also taste sweeter. Also, the support of all those who make is easier can be felt the most in those tough times. And I am learning.

Now, how are our hands connected? In the brain. Left part = right hand = logic, right part = left hand = creativity. Oh mine. My logic has plenty of room for improvement! Of course, if I chose to have blocked it myself... Thank you, fears. Now that I see and feel where you dwell, it's not that scary any more.

And I feel it alright. Left hand plays the exercise quite nicely. A lot of work to do, but at the starting point I feel quite relaxed and eager to move on.

As soon as the right hand moves in, I feel like jumping off the chair and doing something different than playing. I make myself sit and keep going. Suddenly, a lot of thoughts come into my head. Harmony book, cooking, bus schedule, new student card, student association, Finnish, weather, raincoat, prices, shopping... Whoa! The pain in the right hand brings me back. Thank you!

It goes away after I consciously make an effort to find the most relaxed position of the hand and still keep moving.

I feel that both hands have worked. The right one is slightly aching. But only slightly. I know this is the way to go. Slowly, and persistently. The pain is showing me the way, once again. Thank you.

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