четверг, 19 мая 2011 г.


‎20 years from now you'll be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.Explore.Dream.Discover. Mark Twain

Upon returning home after a few days’ staying with my friend I opened the piano and put my fingers on the keyboard. It smells of old wood, new memories and has a feel of the new things that are to come. I felt like hugging them all, these keys that are simply there for me, no matter where I go and how late I return home. They do not talk until I touch them, and in the evenings like this it is reassuring to know – I get an answer only when I ask.

The few days have been filled with many questions. I wonder if there were more questions than answers because I went away with new question marks in my mind. Something tells me it’s just me. Usually I am the one who has so many emotions they live their own lives till I get a good grip of them. I am learning to let things go. I am watching and observing. It’s all in steps, and getting up one is always noticeable. You cannot deceive your body.

Saying “honestly” means you’ve been lying to yourself. Many words are unnecessary; we say what we mean anyway. We always pick the words that are best describing what we need. We always choose the tone and speed of our talk to fit into the conversation.

Staying up alone at night is a usual thing when you are on your own. Having someone by your side makes you want to join them sooner. It is the time together that always seems to have more weight. It is the common energy flow that makes even short evening talks ripe and rich in overtones and gives the early morning a fresh start.

“I know what notes are and how to define sound. But what are overtones?”
“It’s like seasoning,” I answer. “Sounds are the meat, and overtones are what make the food taste different.”

His voice has got growling overtones. At times I wonder if tigers change their roaring to express their feelings to their mates and cubs. People do. I do. I know what my voice sounds like when I am in joy, when I get a bit uneasy or when I really like someone. I make it resemble the deep roaring sound as much as I can – because I enjoy it more so. Others hear it – and the joy is spread.

Usually the overtones are great answers. I do not have to see the face and eyes to hear what I need. This is what I really like the phone talks for. At the same time, voice enhances bodily communication to such an extent that at times one word is worth a kiss, and one phrase is more than a hug. The common conclusions say it is the other way around... so that makes me wish to stay free of any preconception at all.

Of course this is not universal. Some people prefer the closeness of the skin to the mind resonance. At least at some point of their growth. I’ve tried. Talks that come afterwards have so much skin in them it is almost impossible to tell what is really happenning.

Just talking does not lead anywhere if nothing is done. So doing things while talking and vice versa would seem to be the only way out if they were not mutually exclusive. A person cannot shoot while talking. The gunman shoots when silent.

I need to find the way to combine them. Given the two ways to choose because of our dual nature - male and female – I go for the overtones first. My next step up will do the rest.

There is a long-term goal to it. I know it feels right, the best of the best, and everyone wants it. I feel it inside and with my fingers, and I know well how rejuvenating that is. I know because I’ve been using my fingers to produce the overtones for many years. I know the togetherness of the sound and the touch. The ideal has both and simultaneously.

All I need to do is get the principle to work. I feel the time has come.

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